My Letter To Adulthood

Dear Adulthood,

As a child, before I was ten, I looked forward to you.

You excited me so much. 

I had dreams, so many dreams. 

I looked forward to who I’d become and what I’d see when I looked in the mirror. I couldn’t wait for you.

I watched people on TV, in videos and movies, and I caught glimpses. Glimpses of who I’d be happy to be when I grew up.

But no one truly prepares you for the reality.

Thanks to my mom, she tried to be as real as possible. But I’m a dreamer. 

The possibilities excited me. I couldn’t wait to get here.

Now that I’m here, I see it for myself.

I see how hard it can be to keep going.

It can be so hard to keep holding on and believe in something. 

I see how hard life can get and I hate when it hits me so hard.

But I love the good times.

I love the happy moments and things that put a smile on my face. 

I love the freedom.

I love the agency.

I love knowing I can choose my own path.

I love being able to say, “I want this,” and being able to go after it.

I just hate how life forces you to grow up whether you’re ready or not.

Giving up isn’t even an option.

You have responsibilities.

You have needs.

You have people relying on you.

You have a destination you haven’t arrived at yet.

You still have life and it doesn’t stop until your last breath.

Until you’re no longer here.

And sometimes 

Sometimes things happen that make you question everything.

You question the point of living.

The point of human life.

What’s all this for?

Why are we here?

Why are people’s journeys so different?

Why do some people have the most heartbreaking stories?

Why do some children get cancer and die from it?

Why do some women lose their life while bringing another into the world?

Why did that person have to go out that way?

Why do terrible things happen to genuinely good people?

Why do some people suffer from childhood till they die?

Why do children have to wake up scared because of violence, war, and bombs?

And when you look at the contrast, when you see how some people have it so good, it makes you wonder…

Do you have the answers?

Does anybody?

But maybe…

Maybe you’re not so bad.

Maybe there’s a formula to understanding you that I haven’t discovered yet.

Whatever it is, I’ll keep hope alive.

I’ll keep dreaming.

It might be a long road with you, but I’ll try to do my part.

I want the best experiences.

I want a beautiful story.

I want to leave an impact.

And whatever life throws at me, I pray I stand tall through it all.

I hope I’m not too shaken by it.

I hope favor and grace stay by my side.

I hope they stay by yours too.

So, dear adulthood,

Please be kind to me.

Go easy on me.

I want to love you.

I want to enjoy you.

I want to give you my best.

I wanted you for so long. I just never imagined you’d be this hard

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