MY ABORTION STORY

MY ABORTION STORY: HOW I EXPERIENCED A CONTRACEPTIVE FAILURE AND WOUND UP PREGNANT

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So many women have experienced a contraceptive failure at a point in time and it isn’t a pleasant experience. It is the reason why there’s a need to always hint on how no contraceptive method is foolproof. So far as you are having sex, there’s always a possibility that you might get pregnant. There is a need for you to not take risks and avoid the many ways that any contraceptive method can fail you. Here’s a story about how I got pregnant not so long ago because I was failed by an emergency contraceptive.

At the time, I was in a monogamous ‘situationship’ and we would always have raw sex because we were supposed to be exclusive and we were both clean. Just like most women out there, I had a period app that would notify me when there was a high possibility of me being fertile. I’d used it for years, so it was easy to go with the information I got from the app. 

One week, I was notified that I was fertile and I found myself in my partner’s apartment. We had sex the first day and the next morning, I went to the pharmacy and got Lydia postpil. I took it because I wasn’t trying to get pregnant. Two days after, around midnight, I got a call from this same gentleman asking me to come over and I got excited. I dressed up, ordered a ride, and in less than an hour, I was at his place because I wanted the sex too. 

On my way to his place, my period app notified me again, I had a HIGH chance of getting pregnant. But guess what? I went ahead and had raw sex with the man several times and he poured it all inside me. I played the naïve girl like so many women do sometimes. I knew that I could get pregnant, so the next day, I went to the pharmacy and got Postinor 2. I took it even though I don’t like taking postpills because I hate the side-effects that come with taking them. 

I’d usually take just two or three postpills a year and stick with condoms, but that faithful day, my scared ass got Postinor 2. I took it and moved on with my life, not knowing, an egg had already been fertilized. The emergency contraceptive which prevents pregnancy by up to 87% if you take it within 3 days wasn’t able to stop the fertilization of my beloved egg.  

Few weeks later, I was expecting my period but after two days, there was no blood. For someone with a fairly regular menstrual cycle, it was a great cause for worry. I had a strong feeling that I was pregnant because my breasts were tender and I had breakouts on my forehead, which was odd because I never get acne on my forehead.

So, I just went to the pharmacy and got two test strips. Early the next morning, I peed on both sticks and one was positive whereas the other read negative. Getting a false-negative result on a test strip isn’t odd, so I needed to do another test to be sure. Less than an hour after, I went to a different pharmacy and got two more test strips. I peed on both sticks when I got home and saw two lines on both.

I WAS 100% PREGNANT BUT DID I WANT A BABY?

That whole time, I was going through a depressive phase, so it was hard to deal with the ‘pregnancy’ situation. You know what’s worse? I didn’t tell anybody. I had to go through it alone. I knew there was no way I was going to keep a baby because I wasn’t in the right place to raise a kid. I didn’t have the energy to also start a conversation with the man about the pregnancy at the time, so I ignored him. I stopped talking to him because I was mad at him; he put the baby inside me. 

Luckily, I knew exactly what to do and how to go about the abortion, so I didn’t waste time. I didn’t want the pregnancy to grow; I just wanted it out, so I went to the hospital. I tested for pregnancy again and did an ultrasound. I was just 5 weeks pregnant, so there was literally nothing to see.

Right after, I got the abortion pills and took them like I was required to. I was lucky enough to be equipped with all the information I needed about the abortion process, so it didn’t hurt. I only bled for a couple of days and I didn’t get abdominal cramps. A month after, I went for an ultrasound and did an overall checkup to find out that everything was fine with me down there.

My cycle also began 6 -7 weeks after I stopped bleeding and my life went back to normal without anyone knowing that I’d gotten pregnant and aborted it. It felt good but trust me, it’s always better to have someone go through the abortion process with you. It sucks to have no one to talk to when you test positive for pregnancy when you don’t want the baby because you don’t expect everyone to be okay with your decision to abort it. 

You also wouldn’t want to deal with critique and judgment at a time when all you need is support. Knowing this, I’m happy to tell you that we are fortunate enough to have an organization that specializes in counseling women when they test positive for pregnancy and they are either unsure of what to do or not ready to have a baby.

safe2choose has a team of medical doctors, counselors, and public health experts who are available to be talked to when you visit their website. They will talk you through the entire experience and you wouldn’t have to deal with it all alone. They will also recommend to you organizations or places to visit to get access to abortion pills and everything you will need for the abortion process. So, if you ever test positive for pregnancy, just head to safe2choose and get the counseling and emotional support you need.

Also, you don’t have to wait till you get pregnant before deciding that you don’t want a baby when you can stick with condoms or use a very reliable contraceptive method. You can learn more about contraception at: Find My Method. Get on a contraceptive, take note of the many ways that any of them can fail you and avoid them. 

I learned my lesson and for that reason, I don’t do raw sex when there’s a medium-to-high chance that I might be fertile, I just use a condom. You should also learn from that!

Have you ever experienced a contraceptive failure? Have you ever had an abortion? How was it? Share with me your stories! One important way to combat the stigma surrounding abortion is by encouraging more women to share their personal stories. You can share it on an anonymous platform if you want, we just need your story out there. 

You can share with me it via Email or type it in the comments. Several other women and I would love to read it. 

STAY SAFE!

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MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATE, WRITER, SEX AND RELATIONSHIP EXPERT

Ami Shikah is a sex educator and mental health advocate. She is passionate about sex education and is working towards making her website/blog a place where people come to for knowledge and information that will help them make healthy decisions about sex and sexuality. Mental health isn't treated with much importance in her part of the world (Ghana, Africa) and as someone who has had to deal with depression and suicidal thoughts, she hopes to share her experiences with the world and help other people like her. She has in-depth knowledge about sex, sexual health, sexuality, vaginal health, pregnancy and abortion and is working to share it all with the world. She has also made it possible for people to ask questions and get answers to them anytime.

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