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Things To Look Out For In A Partner, Before Getting Intimate

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This post isn’t specifically for people entering or already in serious relationships geared towards marriage. It’s for everyone especially if you are sexually involved with someone or will be in the near future. Children, we all know, are a direct result of sex or the fertilization of an egg and sperm which usually happens during or after raw, unprotected sex. This is why before you decide to engage in sex, you need to be cautious of some things and be ready for whatever aftermath there is to any action you decide to take.

The easiest thing to do is to go with family planning; keep a condom in your wallet and purse everywhere you go, just to play safe and ensure you use it when you decide to get it on. I know how difficult this is for most of you who love raw sex so much; but think about the many things you would be preventing and the safety of the whole act if a condom is involved. Just think about it.

Now, what about sex that happens in the heat of the moment and unplanned night stands? Well, we have emergency contraceptives for those situations just to prevent pregnancy.

Okay, so now that we’ve already accepted the fact that if we are really cautious we can prevent pregnancy anytime we have sex, let’s talk about situations where we do not actually mind getting pregnant. Let’s talk about times when we actually are careless to not care whether we get pregnant or not and we actually do get pregnant. Let’s talk about marriage when we do have to get pregnant because we want children. Do we just up and choose anyone because we are physically, mentally or sexually attracted to them and we feel we cannot live without them? Do we let love be the only thing we look out for in terms of such matters? NO!

Love isn’t strong enough to stand alone in terms of many things. Yes, it is a factor to consider or look out for but basically what we think is love is just a definition coined by society and usually when other things come into the picture, we realize how insignificant that word we thought was everything actually is.

There are so many things we sexually active people need to look out for before deciding to risk getting pregnant with someone: their sickle cell status, genetic traits like mental disorders, eye defects, ear defects and several other inheritable ailments, physical shortfalls and other features that we do not want in our children.

Most often, we ignore all those because sometimes we love to live in the moment and do reckless things because we do not want to let the days of our healthy youth go away with little or no fun involved. But what if something happens? What if we get pregnant and deliver a child with the sickle cell disease? What do we do? We blame ourselves for not being careful enough and we will have to live the rest of our days on earth being reminded of our carelessness.

It is okay to have fun and enjoy life. It is okay to sexually experiment and live wild but, we have to do it the right way. Let’s not make our decisions and actions affect our children the wrong way. Let’s look out for such traits mentioned above and several others that we do not want in our kids so we avoid them.

We need to look at ourselves, if there is a negative trait we have that was inherited, we should make it a point to look out for partners without that trait in order to lessen the chances of our kids inheriting that trait. If there is a nice trait that you wished so much from your childhood that you had but didn’t, why don’t you do your children good and go in for a partner with that trait? Won’t that be so thoughtful and nice of you as a future parent. It could be height, could be complexion, could be intelligence and several other behavioral traits.

Let’s not be thoughtless adults but rather take life seriously and understand the implications of every action we take and put measures in place to avoid or minimize those implications, anyhow we can so that in the end, we won’t have to live with the regrets of not doing the right thing at the right time.

This is very important for our sanity and future well-being. Think this through and make the right choices. Life is not a joke, everything has it’s implications, so make the right choices.

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MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATE, WRITER, SEX AND RELATIONSHIP EXPERT

Ami Shikah is a sex educator and mental health advocate. She is passionate about sex education and is working towards making her website/blog a place where people come to for knowledge and information that will help them make healthy decisions about sex and sexuality. Mental health isn't treated with much importance in her part of the world (Ghana, Africa) and as someone who has had to deal with depression and suicidal thoughts, she hopes to share her experiences with the world and help other people like her. She has in-depth knowledge about sex, sexual health, sexuality, vaginal health, pregnancy and abortion and is working to share it all with the world. She has also made it possible for people to ask questions and get answers to them anytime.

2 Comments

  1. Hi Ami I really need to get this drug but I don’t know where and how to get it can you help me😭

    • Most pharmacies have it. You should see the ones in East Legon, Atomic or close to UPSA.

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