Rules for Having Anal Sex

Have you ever had anal sex? How was your experience?

The anus is highly concentrated with nerve endings, which makes anal sex a very pleasurable and enjoyable experience. One thing I love about it is that anyone, regardless of sex and gender, can have anal sex because everyone has an anus.

It is important to note that although anal sex can be fun, without much preparation and caution, it can be a painful and uncomfortable experience. It can make you hate the experience and wish to never try it again. 

Here are some important rules to follow when having anal sex:

Anal sex
  1. Use lubrication: The anus does not produce its own lubrication, so it’s essential to use plenty of lube to reduce the risk of tearing and discomfort. Water-based lubricants are generally the safest choice, as they are easier to clean up and won’t damage condoms or sex toys.
  2. Communicate with your partner: Anal sex can be a sensitive topic, so it’s important to have open and honest communication with your partner about boundaries and comfort levels. Make sure to discuss consent and use clear, explicit language to ensure that both partners are on the same page.
  3. Take it slow: The anus is a sensitive area and it’s important to take things slowly to allow the muscles to relax and adjust to the sensation. Start with smaller objects, such as fingers or a small toy (e.g., anal plug), and gradually work up to larger ones.
  4. Use a condom: It’s always a good idea to use a condom during anal sex to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). It’s also a good idea to use a new condom if switching between anal and vaginal sex to avoid introducing bacteria from the anus to the vagina.
  5. Practice safe cleaning: It’s important to properly clean the anus before and after anal sex to reduce the risk of infection. Use warm water and a gentle, unscented soap to clean the area, and be sure to rinse thoroughly. It’s also a good idea to avoid using scented wipes or douches, as these can be irritating to the sensitive skin of the anus.

Tip for Having Pleasurable Anal Sex: Anilingus or Rimming


It can be helpful to explore using your tongue to stimulate the anus for a while (days or weeks) to gradually prepare you for the insertion of objects inside the anus. Do it several times before you decide to explore anal sex because it makes the partner on the receiving end appreciate the pleasurable nature of anal play. It makes it easier for them to relax when you finally try out anal penetration. 

Tip for Having Pleasurable Anal Sex: Anal Fingering

After exploring anilingus for a while, talk to your partner(s) about fingering, and if they consent to it, explore anal fingering. Ensure that your fingernails are trimmed and smoothed to prevent cuts or tears.

It can be helpful to explore several other sexual activities that are pleasurable to your partner before initiating anal fingering. That way, they will be so aroused and relaxed. You can stimulate the clitoris, give them a hand job, have oral sex, use sex toys, etc.

After, wash your hands and let your partner lie in a comfortable position with their buttocks facing the ceiling. Pour a lot of lubricant on their buttocks and slowly put the pad of your index finger on the skin around the anus (the hole). Slowly apply a little pressure to the skin and insert it. Remember to do it slowly!

It can be helpful for the partner on the receiving end to take deep breaths during the insertion of the finger to make them more relaxed.

When you finally insert the finger, rub toward the belly button. Communicate with your partner to find out how it feels and continue rubbing if they want more. 

Explore anal fingering several times over several days or weeks before initiating anal penetration with a penis or larger objects with your partner(s). If you have anal beads, you can try inserting and removing the beads after exploring fingering for a while.

What Do You Think?

By following these rules, you can have a safer and more enjoyable experience with anal sex. It’s always a good idea to practice safe sex and prioritize the comfort and pleasure of both partners.






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Ami Shikah is a Certified Sex Coach, clinical sexologist, and radio personality with an Advanced Postgraduate Diploma in Global Sexual and Reproductive Health Management. She loves anything and everything sex as long as it is consensual, pleasurable and free of any form of discrimination, harm or violence. On this blog, her aim is to promote sexual literacy, provide a source of arousal, and promote sexual wellness. If you need to talk to a sex professional about your sexual concerns or issues, she is the one to talk to. She can help you solve your sexual problems. She will help you have the most amazing sexual experiences and live the sex life of your dreams. Sex is a basic need and a natural part of who we are as human beings. Exercise your right to sexual pleasure today! Email her at for a complimentary sex coaching session.

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