how to masturbate

How to Masturbate for Women (A Guide to Female Masturbation)

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Do you masturbate? Do you know how to masturbate? Do you enjoy masturbation? If you answered no to one or more, what is your reason?

Masturbation is a very natural and healthy sexual activity that has several benefits for human health and sexuality. It’s sad that lots of people would rather not masturbate because they believe the negative messages about masturbation that society or religion fed them while growing up. If you think deeply about them, you’d realize how unfounded and irrational most of these messages are. Like, why would you believe that masturbation makes people deaf or blind?

More Myths About Masturbation

  • Masturbation causes hairy palms.
  • Masturbation causes erectile dysfunction.
  • Masturbation is “cheating.”
  • Masturbation causes infertility.
  • Masturbation causes a low sperm count.

Because of the above negative connotations attached to masturbation, us sex coaches prefer to use terms like self-pleasuring, solo sex, or autoeroticism because they are more sex positive and define masturbation for what it really is. When you are horny and need to get some, you can have solo sex. If you want to add variety to your sexual experiences, solo sex is one way to go about it. Consider masturbating while your partner watches; masturbating while your partner masturbates at the same time in the same room or via video call; or you and a partner masturbating each other (you do what they do when they masturbate, such as stroking their penis or rubbing their clitoris, while they do what you do when you masturbate, such as rubbing your clitoris or stimulating your clitoris with a vibrator). You can even masturbate in front of a mirror.

You don’t always have to have someone around before you have sex when solo sex exists. Its numerous benefits make it worth exploring. It should be a big part of your sex life, whether you are single, dating, married, in a relationship, or whatever.

Why Should You Masturbate? Benefits of Masturbation to Vagina Owners

Masturbation makes you happy

Solo sex affords women the chance to get to know their bodies well enough to know which parts are sensitive and what stimulation techniques are required to make them experience pleasure and orgasms. When that happens, they are able to establish an orgasmic response in their body, meaning that their body is able to move from the point of pleasure to orgasms because it has experienced it before. It is the reason why you’ll hear sex coaches say that masturbation is the foundation of all partnered sexual experiences. So, when you masturbate, you find it easier to experience orgasms when you are with your partner(s). You are also able to guide or direct them to do exactly what you want to have a good time. That way, you stay responsible for your own pleasure and orgasms.

How To Masturbate for Women

Find a relaxed, quiet space or room to explore solo sex when you have some free time with no distractions from work, family, or other obligations. Take a shower, brush your teeth, and freshen up. Make it a sensual experience by wearing something that makes you feel sexy. It could be lingerie, high heels, red lipstick, or anything else. Look in the mirror and make sure you like what you see. If you don’t, replace the negative thoughts with something positive. Your body can be a huge ball of pleasure. It’s filled with nerve endings in various areas that can give you a lot of pleasure when stimulated. Think about that and allow it to make you feel good.

Tell yourself, “I love you.” “You are sexy.” “You are beautiful.”

Next, set the mood by filling the room with a fragrance you consider sexy. You can work with scented candles and have dim lighting as an added benefit. Next, do something that lets you let go and feel more in tune with your body.

I recommend dancing to sexy music. Play the sexiest, most seductive songs you’ve ever heard, and dance sensually to them. Rub your body while dancing. Begin with your neck; suck on your index finger; reach for your breasts; squeeze your nipples; rub your tummy; rub your thighs; and don’t stop dancing. Dance for about 5-10 minutes.

The Different Ways to Masturbate

Parts of the vulva Parts of the vagina

The female genitalia consists of the clitoris, labia, vaginal opening, perineum, anus, etc. During masturbation, you can stimulate one, two, or more of these parts to experience pleasure or orgasms.

Keep in mind that the goal of any sexual activity, including masturbation, should be experiencing pleasure, not orgasms. If you experience an orgasm, great, but focus more on what leads to the orgasms and revel in it.

In this article, I will focus on clitoral stimulation. Read about G-Spot simulation, how you can go about it, and how to give yourself G-Spot Orgasms HERE.

Continuing the Masturbation Session

Pornography and Erotica

Now that you’ve finished dancing, sit or lie down comfortably. You need a source of arousal, something to turn you on. If possible, work with sexual fantasies or your imagination. Imagine yourself in a sexy scene with someone you enjoy having sex with. You can fantasize about anything and everything sexy, regardless of how nasty you think it might be. It’s in your head, so anything and everything is allowed.

If fantasies aren’t an option, try pornography, a sexy movie, audio porn, or erotica. Relax and take your time. Find something that will turn you on and make you feel sexier. When your nipples harden, your vagina begins to lubricate or become moist (not always), your clitoris and labia minora start to swell, or you feel a sense of fullness in your crotch, you are aroused and ready for the next step.

Before Reaching for the Clitoris

As previously stated, the body is filled with many sensitive spots or erogenous zones. Keep that in mind and don’t make your sexual sessions all about genital stimulation. The breasts, nipples, neck, shoulders, lips, ears, tummy, navel, crook of the elbow, and thighs are sensitive and deserve to be touched and stimulated before you touch the clitoris. Think of it as foreplay.

Make sure you are comfortable. I’ll recommend lying down. You don’t want any kind of disruption or distraction, so your door should be locked.

Now, with your fingers, lightly rub or stroke your body from your forehead downward. Rub your ears, put your index finger in your mouth and suck it sensually, move to your neck and do not ignore any of the other body parts I mentioned.

After priming your body for genital stimulation, move on to the next step.

Stimulating the Clitoris for Pleasure

The clitoris is the pleasure center of the female body and has over 8000 nerve endings, making it more sensitive than the penis. All you need are your clean fingers and a wet or moist vulva for this session.

Start by lightly stroking or rubbing your inner thighs with the tip of your finger. Rub the tips of two fingers on your mon pubis and pay attention to how you feel down there. Now, move downward and touch your clitoris. Is it wet? If it’s not, you need a lubricant (preferably water-based with no glycerin or parabens).

Move the tips of your fingers along your labia lightly, from down to up (towards the clitoris). How does that feel? Rub from top to bottom for a while, and then, move upward to the clitoral hood. Rub or massage it gently. It can feel really nice, so let yourself go and enjoy it. You can grab your breasts and stimulate your nipples, or stroke the upper part of your body while stimulating your genitals.

Next, lightly rub the head of the clitoris. Rub in different ways; in circles, forward and backward, or sideways. Do it slowly and don’t press the clitoris or massage it until the pleasure gets intense.

You will know when the pleasure begins to build up. Then you can massage and move your finger faster on the clitoris in the direction that feels good. Continue rubbing with more pressure and let it intensify until it culminates in an orgasm.

An orgasm is followed by the resolution phase. It can make you feel calm, happy, or sleepy. The latter is one well-known benefit of masturbation that you can enjoy. Lots of people masturbate to sleep faster. Give it a try!

What do You Think?

If you don’t masturbate, does this article make you want to try it out? If you masturbate, is your masturbation pattern similar to this? If not, are you willing to try it out to see how different the experience will be? Let me know in the comments. Ask questions for answers and subscribe to this blog.

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CERTIFIED SEX COACH

Ami Shikah is a Certified Sex Coach, clinical sexologist, and radio personality with an Advanced Postgraduate Diploma in Global Sexual and Reproductive Health Management. She loves anything and everything sex as long as it is consensual, pleasurable and free of any form of discrimination, harm or violence. On this blog, her aim is to promote sexual literacy, provide a source of arousal, and promote sexual wellness. If you need to talk to a sex professional about your sexual concerns or issues, she is the one to talk to. She can help you solve your sexual problems. She will help you have the most amazing sexual experiences and live the sex life of your dreams. Sex is a basic need and a natural part of who we are as human beings. Exercise your right to sexual pleasure today! Email her at amishikah@gmail.com for a complimentary sex coaching session.

7 Comments

  1. Thank you for sharing informative content. It means a lot to me hope you do more articles to post.

    • Thank you too! I've decided to post weekly. I'm glad you loved this

  2. This is so great
    I’m definitely sharing for my friends 🥰

  3. Wow.. very educate article for those who lacks this sexual pleasure for themselves. I personally loves masterbation and I hereby makes a foreplay with someone who finds it difficult to reach orgasms which I'm very good at the part. when I'm horny whereby I don't have any partner, What makes me do that is by watching sexy movies or porns. With all this sex pleasure to my self, I still feels to be single and I wanna know if that's right or wrong for me living these way. Thank you

  4. Wow.. very educate article for those who lacks this sexual pleasure. Thank you

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