Is Your Vibrator Making You Forget How to Touch Yourself?

I have always been a proponent of self-pleasure. For women especially, because I’m a woman. It’s okay and can be quite empowering to spend some time alone with yourself for sexual pleasure.

When you’re alone, it’s just you. Your entire focus is on you. You can explore all parts of your body, tease your nerve endings all over and discover what takes you to that point of excitement and climax. Being able to do that to yourself and make yourself feel so good when you cum, and maybe cum again and again, can be so liberating. It puts you in charge of your own pleasure. And when you’re making out with somebody, you can communicate and direct them to do some of the things you do to yourself when you’re alone that feel good.

Communication is very key for a good sex life.

You can live the sex life of your dreams if you are able to communicate your needs well and not be held back by not knowing what feels good to you.

I know some people have their reservations about self-pleasure, and a lot of it has to do with their religious beliefs, superstitions and wrong information they grew up believing. You should know that masturbation is a good foundation for pleasurable partnered experiences. It means when you understand and explore your body on your own, you have better sexual experiences with your partner, if/when you have one.

Let me explain.

Being able to make yourself experience orgasms in various ways because you explore on your own means that your body becomes familiar with those sensations. As a result, during partnered sex, you don’t hold yourself back when it gets intense because you’re not completely new to those sensations. It can also make it easier for you to communicate your needs and guide your partner to please you better.

For many women, knowing their own bodies makes reaching orgasm during sex with a partner more likely. And the orgasm gap needs to be bridged. So, let’s hope for this information to reach more women so they can feel comfortable enough to embrace their sexuality without shame.

What do you use to get yourself off?

Reader, do you ever touch yourself or masturbate? What do you use to get off?

Several people use vibrators, dildos, suction toys and all kinds of other pleasure products. Others squeeze their thighs, which is known as syntribation. Some use pillows or stuffed animals, and others use all kinds of objects that can either vibrate on the clit or be inserted into the vagina for pleasure.

Just by the way, what would you say is the oddest thing you have inserted or used for self-pleasure? What’s the wildest place you’ve done it too?

Please share in the comments.

Things You Should Never Use For Masturbation

You should know that it is very much not advisable to use food such as cucumber, banana, carrot, plantain and other food items, sharp items or random objects for self-exploration. I recently saw a video of a lady inserting a bread knife in her vagina for sexual pleasure and I had so many questions.

Don’t let curiosity land you in the emergency room!

There are also people who use glass bottles, guns and other random objects. They are very much unsafe and can bring you stress via cuts, injuries, infections and other health risks.

Thanks to science and technology, we are in an era where actual sex toys exist. There are pleasure products that are specifically designed for sexual use, and many are made with body-safe materials. You can find one or a number that works for you.

I always swear by the rose. It’s a must-have for every clitoris-having woman. If you want a second/alternative, you can go for a rechargeable, strong vibrator. Reach out to me here, via email or social media @msamishikah to get some. I have the rose and several other toys.

Now, let’s get to the reason why I started writing this article in the first place.

Has Your Vibrator Replaced Your Hands?

If you use sex toys and you have an active solo sex life, what’s going on with you currently?

How often do you masturbate?

Do you do it multiple times daily? Once daily? Multiple times weekly?

Now, my real question is:

When last did you use your fingers?

When last did you use your hands and explore your body and keep going and going regardless of how slow it seemed compared to the vibrator? When you finally reached your climax, did it feel so good because you savored every part of the journey?

When was that?

Have you gotten so used to your toys that that’s all you always use whenever you need to get some?

I’m not here to judge you because I understand how convenient toys are. They work so fast. The rose especially. Give it a minute, or two, or a few, and you’ll be cumming. That can also feel like a downside of the rose because it can be nice to have a longer pleasurable journey that builds up gradually toward your orgasm.

That longer journey is what using your hands offers you.

Using your hands allows you to touch and explore different parts of your body. You can vary the pressure, speed, direction and rhythm. You can pause and tease yourself. And you are able to take your time instead of immediately going for the strongest stimulation.

If you’re someone who enjoys edging, taking a longer route can make the eventual orgasm more intense. It can be such a delicious experience that makes the journey so worthwhile

Being Accustomed to a Longer Pleasurable Journey Makes Sex Better

Learning to enjoy that longer journey can make you better prepared to enjoy partnered sex because your partner is not a vibrator. A human being does not vibrate unless you call the movement they make when they are having orgasms, shivering or convulsing vibrations.

Lol.

Your partner might not necessarily give you the exact intensity or stimulation that your favourite toy gives you. And depending on the person or situation, partnered sex can take longer to get you to your orgasm. The build-up can be slower and you may need patience. You may also need to communicate. You may need to allow yourself to become aroused gradually instead of expecting to reach climax within a few minutes.

So, if you become so used to the intensity of vibrations or suction that anything less feels like it is not working, or it’s taking too long, partnered sex can become frustrating for you.

You don’t want to be with a partner who is doing their best to please you, but because your body has become so accustomed to a particular type of stimulation, you find it difficult to enjoy every other form of stimulation.

Let Your Body Enjoy Stimulation from Your Hands/Fingers Sometimes

As a sex coach, I’d advise that you use your hands/fingers sometimes.

This is not me saying that you should stop using sex toys. I’m also not saying vibrators are bad.

They are not.

All I’m saying is, don’t let them be your only source of self-pleasure. Don’t use your vibrators every time you want to have some solo fun.

Sometimes, put them away and use your hands. They are still very useful. You’ll benefit so much more from allowing your body the chance to have different experiences without relying solely on one form of stimulation for sexual pleasure.

Use Your Toys With Your Partner

Your toys can come in handy when you’re making out with your partner(s).

You can use the toy while they watch and vice versa. You can use one on them while they use one on you at the same time (one type of mutual masturbation). Or you can both masturbate at the same time, facing each other or side by side (also a type of mutual masturbation). Another option is to let them use the toy on you the way you like it.

There’s so much to do with toys! So, I hope that we will eventually, as a people, accept them and have fewer men viewing toys as competition instead of seeing them as an avenue for more fun in the bedroom. A vibrator is no one’s enemy. It is also not proof that you/your partner is inadequate.

In conclusion,

Enjoy your vibrator. Enjoy your rose. Enjoy your toys. But every now and then, put them aside and get reacquainted with your hands. Explore your body, take your time, and focus on feeling nice sensations, not just an orgasm. Savor every moment and be patient. It’ll be worthwhile.

Did you enjoy reading this article?

Please share your thoughts and questions with me in the comments.

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