The first time I wrote an article on anal sex for this blog was a while back and I hadn’t experienced it, so there wasn’t much to say about the act. Guess what? I’m back with great news! I tried it, got all the tips and notes I needed to get an amazing experience, and now, I am the biggest fan of anal sex.

Anal play can be a very pleasurable experience that I think everyone should experience at least once in their lifetime; it could be rimming, anal fingering, using anal sex toys, or anal sex. I have friends who once thought of anal sex as unpleasurable or painful but upon discovering the right way to go about it, they love it so much now.

In this post, I will explain to you exactly how to go about having anal sex whether it’s your first time or not, and whether you or your partner has a big dick or not. Remember, there’s no point in engaging in any sexual activity if it is not pleasurable.


Anal sex and vaginal sex are different in so many ways, with regards to sensations, the feeling of penetrating and being penetrated, and the tightness. Look! I won’t say I prefer anal sex to vaginal sex, I mean why would I say that? I enjoy vaginal sex greatly but anal sex feels different. It adds variety to your sex life because you wouldn’t want to keep doing the same things all the time.


Unknown to many people, the anal muscles are filled with nerve endings that can be stimulated to give pleasure. It’s the reason why it feels good when your anus is licked, it is the reason why anal fingering feels so good and it is the reason why people love anal sex.

It’s hard to put to words how anal sex feels but the sensations aren’t the same ones you get during vaginal sex. I won’t say it’s better, but it’s a very different and NICE feeling!


This is one main thing that people love to talk about when they are comparing anal sex to vaginal sex. The vaginal canal is like a hollow tube, so when you penetrate it, you feel tightness all-around the penis (the vagina walls hug the penis). Unlike that, the anal canal is like a tiny hole that opens into a wider space (just like a water bottle), so when it is penetrated, it only tightens at one end of the penis (like it feels when you are wearing a ring). The anus usually has a firm grip on the penis during penetration that is extra pleasurable.

That aside, the vagina lubricates naturally to reduce friction. Natural lubrication makes it less tight for easy penetration. Friction stimulates nerve endings to give more pleasure but it can be lost when the vagina is very wet (which is very important for pleasurable vaginal sex).

Unlike vaginal sex, friction is hardly ever lost during anal sex because the anal canal doesn’t lubricate naturally. And even though the tightness of the anus (anal sphincter) is reduced with lubricants for easy and pleasurable penetration, it still feels tighter than the vagina.


Anal sex is considered a taboo in so many cultures, religions, and societies. It is one thing that makes it very fun to get into because of the thrill that comes with going against societal norms and breaking rules. It turns some people on when they do something that people aren’t expected to do. It makes them feel naughtier which in turn makes the act more intense and pleasurable than vaginal sex.


Here’s one thing that some men love about anal sex: how vulnerable the one being penetrated is and the fact that they trust you enough to let you go inside their butthole. It’s the feeling of dominating someone and being in charge of their pleasure that makes it worth going for. This is especially because anal sex can go wrong and end up being painful and uncomfortable. Unfortunately, some people bleed during/after anal sex, others get bruises and some are unable to sit or ‘shit’ comfortably for some time. So, when someone knows that and still trusts you enough to let you shove your penis in their butthole, it can feel great and make the session more pleasurable.

This is similar to how women feel when they peg a man (wearing a strap-on dildo and penetrating a man’s butthole with it). It can be so fun!


I always tell my friends that you can’t just up and decide to have anal sex. Anal requires preparation because it can either go bad or get really messy. A friend once told me that she passed out poop during anal because her man came over and suddenly decided to have anal sex with her. She wasn’t ready! Her tummy was full and there was so much poop in her rectum, so a lot of it came out during the act. You can imagine how messy that can be!

We always need hours to prepare for anal sex, so always let your partner know beforehand if you want to give it a try. Ideally, a 24-hour notice works!


If you’ve never had anal sex or your partner’s anus has never been penetrated, it will be great to take time to prepare her for penile penetration. Days or sessions leading to that, you can do other forms of anal play: rimming (eating ass), fingering and using anal toys. Eat their ass as often as possible and let them see how pleasurable it can be when the nerve endings in the anal region are stimulated. Finger them and get anal sex toys like butt plugs, anal dildos, or vibrators to help them get used to things going up their butt. It also prepares the anus for a big organ like an erect penis.



Never have anal sex without a lubricant! If you don’t have a lubricant, do something else because it will hurt the receiver. It can cause bruises or tears and increase your risk of catching infections. So, find a lubricant (water-based or silicone-based) that works, and you will be fine. Coconut oil has also been said to work great as an anal lubricant, so you can use that too!

You need to use a lot of lubricant before penetration and use a lot more during the session to keep the anus well-lubricated for pleasure.


Before penetrating the anus, always pour some lubricant (a lot) on the penis and rub on it from the head to the base. Right after, pour more on the receiver’s anus and finger it for some time.

Never rush to penetrate without fingering and rubbing the lubricant on their ass

Fingering the anus for a minute or more prepares it for the penis. It helps the anal muscles relax and when the penis finally goes in, it feels amazing. 


Anal sex is a very delicate act, so when penetrating, make sure to find out from your partner if they are comfortable. Let them know when you are about to go in deep to prepare them mentally and physically. If you ever see blood or they tell you that they are in pain, you need to STOP.

It will be great to have a safeword for when anal sex gets uncomfortable so that when they say that word, you stop and switch to another thing.

RED for when there’s pain or discomfort, YELLOW for ‘take it easy’, and GREEN for ‘keep going’


Lastly, never rush anal! Always go in slowly and come out slowly. It can feel so good if you get it right!



The first thing you need to know is this: poop is only stored temporarily in the anal canal/rectum. So, if you visit the loo before the session, there should be ‘nothing’ in there to interrupt with anal sex. You just need to drink so much water that whole day and take in lots of fluids to soften your poop and make it easy for you to get everything out.


The next thing you can do is clean the anal canal with just water or use a very mild soap with water. To clean it, get an enema (bentua) fill it with water, insert it in your butt, squeeze it for the water to go up your butt, and poop the water out. Do it a few times until the water that comes out is clear. If it is, you are set to have anal sex without poop getting involved.

The second step isn’t always necessary. Sometimes drinking lots of water and going to the loo right before the act can be enough for it to not get too messy. You might get a little ‘poop’ smell or see something light on the penis BUT washing and cleaning the penis gets rid of it.

You need to be open-minded and concentrate on the pleasure! That way, a little poop won’t spoil the fun.


Never penetrate the vagina right after penetrating the anus. The rectum stores feces which can be full of bacteria, so right after anal sex, you need to either remove the condom, and wear a new one before penetrating the vagina or you need to wash your penis and clean it well before penetrating the vagina. This is to prevent the transmission of bacteria like E. coli from the anus to the vagina to cause infections.

Always take note of that! It’s the same thing for anal fingering. Don’t use the same finger for the vagina or wash your finger after it goes inside the anus before fingering the vagina.


It’s okay if you don’t like the idea of having anal sex. If you just cannot imagine yourself doing it, don’t. Go on and engage in other sexual activities, and when you ever decide to have anal sex, make sure you are doing it because you want to explore and have a great time, not because anyone asked you to.

Did you enjoy reading this? Let me know in the comments! Have you subscribed to this blog? Just click the subscribe button on top of this page and you will receive notifications in your email when new articles are published.

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Ami Shikah is a Certified Sex Coach, clinical sexologist, and radio personality with an Advanced Postgraduate Diploma in Global Sexual and Reproductive Health Management. She loves anything and everything sex as long as it is consensual, pleasurable and free of any form of discrimination, harm or violence. On this blog, her aim is to promote sexual literacy, provide a source of arousal, and promote sexual wellness. If you need to talk to a sex professional about your sexual concerns or issues, she is the one to talk to. She can help you solve your sexual problems. She will help you have the most amazing sexual experiences and live the sex life of your dreams. Sex is a basic need and a natural part of who we are as human beings. Exercise your right to sexual pleasure today! Email her at for a complimentary sex coaching session.


  1. Get to hear love the review bye for now

  2. If sex anal can HIV OR AID ? Let me know
    I do always mastrubation every day

    • Yes HIV is easily transmitted during Anal sex. You will have to use a condom to protect your partner if you have the infection

  3. Hi great review lov more info on topic nice one

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