sex dream

SEX DREAMS EXPLAINED (20 SCENARIOS AND THEIR MEANINGS)

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Have you ever had a sex dream? When last did you have one?

A year ago, I was celibate for close to a month (doesn’t really count as celibacy because I was masturbating during that period) and I missed sex so much that when I finally had it, I felt like I’d finally come back alive. It was quite interesting because I went over to the man I was seeing at the time’s house after work when he wasn’t exactly well, so we just did one round which was good. Unfortunately for me, even though it was good sex, my body and private parts wanted so much more. 

Not long after, I fell asleep, and guess what? The sex continued in my dream! When I say the sex continued, I mean, it felt like I had the second round in that dream and OMG! It was so intense and felt so real. I loved it so much and I woke up to a wet bed because my body responded to everything that happened in that dream. Have you ever had a similar experience? Tell me about it in the comments!

In my part of the world (Ghana, West Africa), so many people associate sex dreams with demonic or spiritual acts. You’ll have older people, pastors, and prophets associating it with spiritual marriage to a demon who comes to you at night to have sex with you. I mean, you are entitled to your own beliefs but this article isn’t about that.

Sex dreams aren’t that deep. In actual fact, they are rarely about sex but rather a reflection of your inner thoughts, emotional needs, insecurities, hidden desires/fantasies, or the replay of something you might’ve seen, watched, heard/wondered about. In this article, I will touch on the 20 common sex dream scenarios and what they might mean to give you a better insight into how sex dreams work.

  • MY SCENARIO- CONTINUING A SESSION IN A DREAM 

I almost felt like there was no need to explain how my sex dream (mentioned earlier) came about. Such dreams are basically your mind realizing your desperate sexual need and creating that ideal scenario for you in a dream to give you the satisfaction that you couldn’t get in real life. 

  • PARTNER CHEATING ON YOU

This dream could be a reflection of your insecurities/trust issues. This could be because in real life, you have suspicions or you’ve been picking up cues that your partner is hiding something from you. The dream doesn’t necessarily mean that your partner is cheating on you, so don’t be too quick to judge. It should just give you a reason to talk to your partner about your concerns and suspicions. That way, you can have a clear mind about everything and it can rid you of your insecurities. Be smart though, because sometimes your suspicions might be right. 

  • YOU CHEATING ON A PARTNER

Dreams like this can make you feel very guilty if you are exclusive with a partner and in reality, you know you will never cheat on them. Truth is, unless you’ve actually had thoughts about getting with other people, it’s never that deep for you to hate or criticize yourself. Sometimes such dreams just depict how even though you are in a relationship or you are married, you still like to be seen as attractive by other people. It’s nice to feel wanted or liked even when you are exclusive. It doesn’t make you a cheat. It’s just a dream!

 It could even be a reflection of how much you miss being free/liberated to sleep with anyone you want or a reminder of when you could sleep with anyone you wanted in the past.

Another meaning of this dream can be that you aren’t getting satisfying/enough sex from your partner. In that case, it should give you a reason to have a candid conversation about your needs and talk about the ways your partner can help make your sex life better.

  • SEX WITH A CRUSH/SOMEONE YOU ARE TALKING TO

Before I tell you what meaning I have for this dream, let me tell you about one I had 6 years ago. I was talking to this man I liked and I couldn’t wait to have sex with him. For some reason, we had to hold out sex and I found myself fantasizing about sex with him. I touched myself thinking about having sex with him and I dreamt about something similar. In my case, it was because I was way too horny and couldn’t wait any longer to have sex with him. 

If you ever have this dream, it might just be a reflection of how sexually attracted you are to the person. It could also be your mind picking on the sexual tension between you. In other cases, you might not even want to have sex with them in real life. It could just be a reflection of your thoughts about how it would feel to get with them or because they’ve said a thing or two about their sexual prowess. 

  • INCEST- SEX WITH YOUR PARENT(S) OR RELATIVE

Although people won’t want to openly admit to dreaming about having sex with their parent(s), it is actually a thing. It can make you so confused when you wake up and a little bit concerned about your sanity. Listen, unless you’ve ever had thoughts/fantasies about having sex with your parent (s), this dream isn’t a reflection of anything sexual. It could be about a quality they have that you require or love. If not, it could be your mind telling you how far apart you might be from them and that should give you a reason to get closer. Also, it’s possible to get such dreams after a great bonding moment with your parent(s) that you enjoyed so much. It’s just your mind depicting how much you loved that moment in a way that you like to enjoy closeness with other people. Don’t beat yourself up because of a dream you had no control over!

The same thing applies to sex with other relatives! Unless you have a crush on the person, you find them sexually active, or they’ve once said/done something that gave you the impression that they like you that way, the dream doesn’t mean you want to have sex with them. Also, it could be because you watched porn with a similar scenario the night before or you had a conversation about a similar scenario the day/night before.

  • SEX WITH A TEACHER/PROFESSOR 

This could be because you have a crush on them or you just love the subject or course they teach so much. If not, it could be because you watched porn or talked about a sexual scenario with a teacher and your mind just replayed a similar scenario in your dream. 

  • SEX WITH SOMEONE YOU HATE/DISLIKE

Have you ever had this dream? Did you find it mesmerizing or abhorrent? If you have this dream, your mind might be telling you that the hatred isn’t worth it and you should find a way to get to know the person or solve whatever issue you might have with them. If not, the dream could be a reflection of how you like certain things about the person or want something that the person has. The dream could also be a reflection of the power dynamics in your ‘relationship’ with the person. 

  • SEX WITH A PLATONIC FRIEND 

This dream could either be because you low-key or high-key find them sexually attractive. In most cases, it might be because you like something about them (not sexual) or you spent so much time with them the night before. You can also have this dream after a good/long conversation that you enjoyed so much.

  • SEX WITH AN EX 

This could be a reflection of your sexual frustration. Maybe you just miss sex or you aren’t getting enough sex. If you haven’t healed from your breakup or heartbreak, the dream could just be a reflection of how much you miss your ex (usually not the case).

If not, it could be about missing love or passion and it should give you a reason to put yourself out there so that you can meet new people.

  • SEX IN PUBLIC

This dream could be because you have a thing for exhibitionism and it’s your mind’s way of tapping into that desire. Also, if you have been facing public criticism, this dream might be a reflection of that. If not, it could be a depiction of how much you want to put yourself out there to let people know or see certain things about you (not sexual) – it could be your talent or capabilities. Finally, it could be a depiction of how you’ve been able to put yourself out there or how you’ve been able to reveal so much of who you are to people/society. 

  • WATCHING PEOPLE HAVE SEX 

Unless you love to watch people have sex in real life/you have fantasized about being a voyeur/you watched porn with a similar scenario, this dream can be a depiction of how in real life you feel left out of so many fun things that go on around you. It should give you the nudge to get more involved in activities and show more enthusiasm when you are invited to social events. Try to live a little; enjoy yourself and accept invitations to hang out and have a great time.

  • SEX WITH A FAMOUS/WEALTHY PERSON

If the person is someone you think is hot and you fantasize about a lot, the dream could just be a depiction of how much you want to meet them and/or have a thing with them. If not, this dream could be a reflection of how you crave attention or wealth. It’s just your mind giving you a sexy depiction of how much you want to make money or how you want to be loved by millions of people. It could also be because, in reality, you don’t feel like you are getting the attention you need from the people close to you, the people you know, or the people you work for. In some cases, if the sex dream was with a wealthy person, it could be because you are broke or aren’t making enough money. The dream should give you a reason to step up your game, put in more work, or find other money-making ventures.  

  • SEX WITH YOUR BOSS/EMPLOYEE/CO-WORKER

Unless you’ve actually fantasized or thought about having sex with that person, the dream doesn’t necessarily mean you want to get with them. It could be because there’s something specific about them, their personality, or the way they go about things that you admire and need to learn from. If the dream was about sex with a boss, it could also be your mind telling you to do more, step up your game or be in control of your work. If it’s with an employee, it could be about needing to stop being too hard on them or needing to pay more attention to them and their efforts. Such dreams should give you a reason to assess your work relationships to see where there’s an issue or what you need to pay more attention to. 

  • SEX WITH SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX (IF YOU A STRAIGHT)

I have had such dreams several times with women I wouldn’t want to have sex with in real life. It’s common to have this dream if you are questioning your sexuality. Also, it could be because you have a crush on the person or someone of the same sex, you are curious about how sex will be with the same sex, or you’ve fantasized about having sex with someone/people of the same sex. If not, then it could be because there is something about the person or ‘that sex’ that you love, adore, or want for yourself. You can also have this dream after a great bonding moment (not sexual) with that person or someone of the same sex. 

  • SEX WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX (IF YOU ARE GAY)

This can be common for people who face so much pressure from society to be straight or people who are still in their closets and can’t come out yet. It can be your mind showing you what you desperately wish you could go for in real life but can’t because it’s just not who you are. If not, it can be about great qualities of that ‘sex’ or someone close to you that you love and want to adopt. 

  • SEX WITH A FACELESS STRANGER/PERSON

This dream is usually a reflection of your ideal partner or the kind of person you want to be with. It could also be because you miss sex or you need/can’t wait to find that partner who ticks all your boxes. 

  • SEX WITH A FRIEND’S PARTNER

This isn’t a dream you’d want to share with anyone because it can cause so much tension/problems. Unless you have a crush on that person or you’ve caught them staring at you in a way that tickled your fantasies or you once assumed that they were flirting with you, then this dream could just be because you shared a great or fun moment with them that you enjoyed. Look, even though it might not mean that you want to have sex with them, just keep it to yourself.

  • SEXUAL ASSAULT/VIOLENCE

There are dreams where people might witness sexual violence but aren’t able to do anything about it. Such dreams are usually a reflection of your anxiety issues and how you worry so much about not being able to get the right things done. You should see a therapist or seek help for your anxiety issues if you have a dream like that. 

There are sex dreams about being sexually assaulted or assaulting someone sexually. Such dreams could either be because you once had a similar experience or a reflection of the control issues in your personal life or work life. It could be your mind telling you how much you wish to take control of things going on in your life or how you don’t control a whole lot going in your life. Also, if you feel like you are being taken advantage of, this dream could be a reflection of that. It should give you a reason to speak up and dominate all aspects of your life!

  • SEX WITH AN ANIMAL 

Unless you actually want to have sex with an animal, this dream doesn’t mean anything sexual. It could be a reflection of how much you love or adore the animal or how much you miss a pet you once had. If it’s not an animal you love or an animal you’ve had an encounter with, that animal in your dream could be representing something in your life that you lost or miss. It could be anything, so the qualities of that animal should give you an idea of what it is. It shouldn’t make you hate yourself.

  • THREESOME

If you’ve ever fantasized about being in a threesome, this dream could just be a reflection of that. You can also have this dream if you’ve ever been in a threesome and you miss the experience. If it’s about people you aren’t in a sexual relationship with, it could be because you spent so much time with them or bonded with them on a deep level the day before. It could also be because you talked about threesomes or because you were involved in teamwork that you enjoyed so much. 

TRY THIS!

If you get sex dreams often or occasionally, write them down in a journal whenever you wake up. Keeping track of your sex dreams can give you a great perspective of your inner desires or issues you need to work on regarding your life or relationships. 

Have you had any of the sex dreams mentioned in this article, tell me about them in the comments. Have you had one that wasn’t mentioned, tell me about it! Do you have a sex dream you will love to share, go ahead! If you can’t share in the comments, send me a live chat (click the red circle on your screen).

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STAY SAFE!

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MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATE, WRITER, SEX AND RELATIONSHIP EXPERT

Ami Shikah is a sex educator and mental health advocate. She is passionate about sex education and is working towards making her website/blog a place where people come to for knowledge and information that will help them make healthy decisions about sex and sexuality. Mental health isn't treated with much importance in her part of the world (Ghana, Africa) and as someone who has had to deal with depression and suicidal thoughts, she hopes to share her experiences with the world and help other people like her. She has in-depth knowledge about sex, sexual health, sexuality, vaginal health, pregnancy and abortion and is working to share it all with the world. She has also made it possible for people to ask questions and get answers to them anytime.

5 Comments

  1. First of all I had one before I entered Shs about this girl I was in class with in JHS. Tbh it was a moment I never thought of but it happened in my dream and I liked it very much. That doggystyle position we were in hasn't left my mind since.
    Secondly this one was my first year in Shs and it was due to the porn I had watched with resulted in that, I had a feeling I've never felt before on the bed, woke up in the morning with a spillage on the sheets

  2. I had a dream last night having sex with my ex. We are kinda good friends now. I felt her touch and kissing as if it was happening in real life. I went down on her and had missionary only. I woke up seeing my shorts wet with my cum

    • Do you think it’s because you miss her? Or you just miss having someone you can get intimate with?

  3. I think I miss her and I know if I ask her, she will give me some but I don't want to

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