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I know what you’re thinking. Like, ‘what the heck does this girl mean by sex is a trap?’

Before I tell you why it is so, I have to admit that sex is fun and when done right, the feeling and pleasure you get, take you to cloud 9. The feeling is divine and sometimes, you wish to feel that way every single day of your life. That is how nice it is; besides, Maslow mentioned sex as one of man’s basic needs, just like water and food, so you’ll argue that we need it to survive. Of course! Any sexually active person in a relationship or marriage needs sex to make their life complete.

Truth is, if you don’t have sex, it doesn’t become a basic need.

Your hymen is there for a reason to keep you from breaking that control you have to abstain from it even if you are in the most tempting place. Trust me, so many girls who break their virginities have to deal with regrets and depression after the act and most of them wish so much to get it back. They end up making vows and they decide to become secondary virgins until they are ready or married.

We are in 2018 and I know being a virgin is not so much of a big deal now. Like, how many ladies who are 18+ are virgins anyways? I know how serious the pressure to try it out is because, sex is everywhere now. When you put on your television, you see sex. Even cartoons that are supposed to be innocent for kids to watch have sex being portrayed in them. It’s making it difficult to stay away. Yeah! It’s making even Africans with rigid traditions and values open-minded about it. Sex is now seen to be a sport or a requirement in relationships and trust me, once you start, it becomes a necessity.

Once you open your legs, you break that barrier that kept you away from that necessity and you start to crave it like you crave any delicious meal you love. It messes with your brain and like it mostly happens, you find yourself being separated from the guy who broke you. And in the end, you find yourself sleeping with any guy who shows interest in you, because you cannot help it. Because you cannot have a decent make-out session with a guy without going all the way. Its messed up and it would be better if the guy who breaks you ends up being the one you spend the rest of your life with. But tell me, how often do you find that happening?

Now, what happens if you break up and you’ve come to love sex so much that now that he is gone, you miss it? That’s when it starts because your body craves it and any little attention from a guy will have you going all the way. It messes with your sanity and trust me, you don’t want that to happen to you. Ever heard of perverts? Loving sex can affect your libido and make you desire it all the time; that is how perversion is born

I will suggest that if you are still a virgin, you keep it. I’m not asking you to abstain completely; if you cannot be celibate, at least do it when you are very sure about the guy.

Do it when you know for sure that he isn’t with you because he can’t keep it in his pants. Do it because you’ve known him for months or years, and have being able to share wonderful moments together without going all the way. Do it because, in the beginning, he was willing to wait and never forced you, and now you are ready to have sex.

I learnt the hard way and I won’t like you to go through the same things I’ve seen people go through. I won’t like you to become an addict who can’t help but have sex with men every single day because of the strong, irresistible desire to do it. I won’t like you to have so many kids with different fathers and I won’t want you to contemplate suicide because you got infected with HIV.

So, if you are still a virgin, keep it until the time is right for you to avoid being caught in that web. Sex is a trap!

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