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Your Body Needs Sex! (SEXUAL FRUSTRATION)

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Reader, this post is specifically for sexually active individuals who are not thinking of taking a break from sex anytime soon. If you’re a virgin who masturbates, watches porn or has already started craving a dick inside you, this post is for you too.

In case you’re wondering, sexual frustration is the feeling experienced when sexual desire goes unfulfilled (definition by https://health.ccm.net). This feeling has everything to do with your body being deprived of its sexual pleasures to the point of the body letting on signs that leave you feeling so uncomfortable and sick just to make you attend to its sexual needs.

This deprival can be as a result of abstinence from sexual intercourse or having sex that doesn’t please you enough like it ought to. So, if you find yourself in a sexual relationship or as a married individual, you’ve not necessarily decided to take a break from sex but find yourself not getting enough sex or you’re not getting the kind of sex that your body craves (the satisfying ones that give you mind-blowing orgasms), you may find yourself getting sexually frustrated.

Also, as a result of sexual mismatch, if your partner has a higher sex drive than you, they may find themselves always dissatisfied and that can in the long run cause them to be frustrated sexually. It is often thought that men want sex more than women; in some cases, this isn’t true. Some women want it more whereas some men want it just a few times or they just cannot last long in bed. Such men usually leave their women unsatisfied. The effect of this can go a long way to affect the woman’s sanity or normal functioning and some in the end give in to temptations to cheat just to meet their sexual needs. This is in no way to justify cheating. I’m just spelling out facts.

Finally, women who in the past had their men or partners (could be women) hitting it right and touching the right spots that always took them to the most heavenly places but had to change partners, tend to fall victim to sexual frustration. This usually happens when the new partners aren’t able to match up to the performance of the previous ones and in this event, the body doesn’t recognize what they’re doing in the present situation as SEX. It just becomes a sport that doesn’t pleasure them enough and rather leaves them craving the real deal like the ones they were getting previously.

Now that you understand why anyone would get sexually frustrated, what are the necessary signs to look out for?

Read on to find out.

Before I list the signs, I need to mention that personally, as a sexually active woman I’ve reached that point of frustration before. It happened quite recently and it wasn’t pleasant at all. I know some of you may be wondering why I didn’t choose to masturbate to rid myself of the urge because, unlike sex, masturbation almost always ends with an orgasm. This is the reason: It gets boring at a point.

At that point of frustration, you may have no urge to masturbate because you alone sitting or lying in bed playing with yourself becomes too monotonous and your body gets tired of it. Your body starts craving company (another person’s touch) and when you don’t satisfy that craving, you find yourself getting the signs that I’m going to list later on in this post. It’s simply your body’s own way of telling you, ‘madam or mister, it’s time. Go and get laid!’

THE SIGNS

  1. For masturbators, you find that even though you’ve not done it in a while, though you want to be pleasured sexually, you have no urge to do it on your own. You brush the thought of masturbation off and instead, wish to have an actual being with you to help with the urge. This is your body’s own way of telling you that you miss sex.
  2. You start watching movies, series or dramas with lots of  sex scenes; just because you miss the act and want to see it happen. You may even choose to watch porn and try to masturbate but stop halfway because it just isn’t working for you.
  3. You may look out for raunchy images/ pictures or read erotic stories and in the end, you tend to miss sex the more.
  4. You find yourself listening to songs with raunchy lyrics or podcasts and conversations about sex.
  5. Your body becomes highly sensitive to skin contact. Any slight touch or closeness with another person sends a tingly sensation through your body. You miss being touched and that feeling is certainly not comfortable.
  6. You become irritable and any slight thing can get you off the mood. Even with no tangible reason, you’re easily provoked just because you’re denying your body its needs. It’s like a child rebelling when you refuse to give him something he asked for.
  7. You become extremely moody and cry for no apparent reason.
  8. You may dream about sex and this might cause you to wet your bed.
  9. You have sexual fantasies about people and get attracted to those who wouldn’t necessarily get your attention on a ‘normal’ day.
  10. You might start missing someone from your past who was so good to you sexually and the thought of them makes you horny.
  11. Some people find themselves exercising till they’re worn out
  12. You start feeling blue or numb because you are just not OKAY. Your body needs sex!
  13. You exhibit negative attitude towards work, school or your usual daily activities because of the lack of motivation to do anything.
  14. You may exhibit aggressive behavior, bite your nails uncontrollably, be extremely nervous, impatient or anxious about having sex.
  15. You feel stressed.
  16. You lose your sexual desire completely and may not even remember what sex feels like.
  17. You may sweat profusely with the least energy expenditure.
  18. Binge-eating: It could be chocolate, ice cream, sweets or any other thing.

I know the signs are many and that’s okay, because that way, it’ll be hard to not know that you’re sexually frustrated when you put them together.

With the above signs in mind, I need to add one last thing though it might seem a bit confusing. Making the conscious decision to stay away from sex for whatever reason can have you going months or years without ever getting sexually frustrated; you may miss sex from time to time though. Now, this is because your mind is in tune with that conscious decision and so, it doesn’t look forward to being sexually pleasured.

On the contrary, if you just had a falling-out with your partner or have just being away from sex without that conscious decision to abstain, your body tends to expect that sexual gratification from time to time to the point when it decides that it has had enough. That’s when you start noticing any of the above signs.

For my recent experience, I knew I was going to have sex but didn’t know when and I definitely didn’t want to do it with anyone, hence my body’s impatience. I almost went back to an old fling from years ago and immediately I had GOOD sex just once, all the signs I’d been feeling were erased and I felt WHOLE again

Look, I’m not trying to say because you are seeing any of the signs above, you should call that guy or girl and have sex. I’m not saying you should get a call girl and have sex. I’m just telling you, you’re sexually frustrated and your body needs sex. YOU DON’T NEED TO HAVE SEX IF YOU DON’T WANT TO.

Don’t call your ex who treated you badly for sex just because you’re frustrated.

I wanted to go into how to deal with this situation but I’ll wait and do that in my next post. Sexual frustration is a thing and you’ll only get your sanity back when you deal with it accordingly.

Do you have any questions or something to add up? Leave them in the comments or if you’re experiencing anything like the above and need someone to talk to, just email me and I’ll reply shortly. 

Kindly share! 

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MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATE, WRITER, SEX AND RELATIONSHIP EXPERT

Ami Shikah is a sex educator and mental health advocate. She is passionate about sex education and is working towards making her website/blog a place where people come to for knowledge and information that will help them make healthy decisions about sex and sexuality. Mental health isn't treated with much importance in her part of the world (Ghana, Africa) and as someone who has had to deal with depression and suicidal thoughts, she hopes to share her experiences with the world and help other people like her. She has in-depth knowledge about sex, sexual health, sexuality, vaginal health, pregnancy and abortion and is working to share it all with the world. She has also made it possible for people to ask questions and get answers to them anytime.

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