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OVERCOMING ADDICTION TO SEX OR MASTURBATION: MY RECOVERY EXERCISE THAT WORKS

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Sex and masturbation can be so great and fun until you wind up addicted, then you start wishing you never started in the first place. I know how it sucks to be addicted because I’ve had a number of people send me emails or messages talking about how they needed help with their addiction.  You will always sense desperation and hopelessness but when they put their mind to it and follow through with my self-help exercise, they come back with good news. Before I go into the details of the recovery exercise, I need to talk about what exactly it means to be addicted to sex and masturbation. 

I realized that people have a bad habit of misusing the word, addiction. It might seem to be a fancy word to some people, but it’s actually not. Addiction is a sick obsession with something that requires you to act on your urges even if it comes with dire consequences. It means you have no control over the habit and it rules you. Once you get the urge to have sex or masturbate, you need to have sex or masturbate. 

You masturbate and have sex too much and it impacts your life negatively. You can get the urge at any time; you could be in a meeting, you could have so much on your plate but you will get the urge and it will be so strong that you have to stop whatever you are doing and attend to your genitals’ needs. It makes you put sex first before anything else. Sex or masturbation will come between you and your family, you and your work duties and you will be willing to sacrifice anything to get some.

It wouldn’t be a problem if addiction didn’t mess with an individual’s mental health and way of life. It can come in the way of so many things and right after having sex or masturbating, you will be hit with an overwhelming feeling of regret and disgust towards your own self. Sex and orgasms that are supposed to work as mood boosters and make you more productive will rather push you towards a path of depression and self-harm.

How do I know if I am an addict?

Answer these questions: YES/NO? 

  • Do you feel powerless over how you act sexually?
  • Are your sexual choices making your life unmanageable?
  • Do you feel shame, embarrassment, or even self-loathing over your sexual acts?
  • Do you promise yourself you’ll change, but fail to keep those promises?
  • Are you so preoccupied with sex that it has become like a ritual to you?

If you answered YES to more than one of the above questions, you need to seek treatment. My self-help exercise will help you with that! (The signs according to www.psychguides.com)

THE SELF-HELP EXERCISE 

The first step towards recovery from addiction is the acknowledgment that you are an addict. If an addict doesn’t recognize their problem, they will keep going, get in trouble, lose their jobs, get alienated from friends, commit rape crimes, become sex offenders, and exhibit signs that are too loud for anyone to not notice that they are addicts. You don’t want to get to that point, so it’s best to be self-aware and notice the signs early enough. Once you notice the signs, it becomes easier to recover and my self-help exercise will help you.

If you go in too deep, my exercise might not work for you. You will need rehab or a more extensive treatment program.

HOW IT WORKS

This recovery exercise leaves everything in your hands. It works with your willpower, so you have to want to recover. Once you decide you are going to recover, you should put in the necessary work and trust me, you will get back the control you lost for a healthy sex life. 

N.B: This isn’t aimed at abstinence or stopping sex and masturbation altogether. 

ANSWER THIS

How often do you have sex daily? Or how often do you masturbate daily? 

You need to be able to tell how often you tend to your sexual urges. If you are an addict, you might go a number of times daily. Some people masturbate 10 to 15 times daily and others have sex every single day because they can’t help it. 

FIRST STEP

With my exercise, I tell people to do this: HAVE SEX OR MASTURBATE EVERY OTHER DAY. 

For an addict, you are unable to go a day without sex or masturbation, so if you decide to give yourself day-breaks, you learn to exercise control over your urges. Succeeding in doing that makes it easy for you to regain control and you can kiss addiction goodbye. 

The only issue with this is, it is hard. If you are able to do it easily, you were never an addict in the first place. 

  • HOW TO GO ABOUT IT: 

There are seven days in a week, so this is what you will do. Work with this timetable: 

First Week

DAY SEX OR NO SEX
Monday Have sex or masturbate if you get the urge
Tuesday NO SEX, NO MASTURBATION
Wednesday Have sex or masturbate if you get the urge
Thursday NO SEX, NO MASTURBATION
Friday Have sex or masturbate if you get the urge
Saturday NO SEX, NO MASTURBATION
Sunday Have sex or masturbate if you get the urge

Second Week

DAY SEX OR NO SEX
Monday NO SEX, NO MASTURBATION
Tuesday Have sex or masturbate if you get the urge
Wednesday NO SEX, NO MASTURBATION
Thursday Have sex or masturbate if you get the urge
Friday NO SEX, NO MASTURBATION
Saturday Have sex or masturbate if you get the urge
Sunday NO SEX, NO MASTURBATION

On the third week, you need to go back to the first week and start all over again. If you’re able to do it, after four weeks, you should’ve made so much progress.

It will be hard but don’t give up.

Following the timetable will be hard, I know! The key thing is to never give up. Tell yourself that you can do it and if it states that you can’t have sex or masturbate on a particular day, do everything you can to avoid doing it. 

Do these three things:

  • Note down a list of things you can do to keep you distracted
  • Mute all the sex or porn accounts you are following on social media for the time being 
  • Avoid sexual conversations. 

You can watch movies, play games, bury yourself in work, call a friend and talk for hours on the phone, go for a run or a long walk, get busy with anything, cook or clean up your house/room. Do anything you can do to keep you distracted and when the urge is too strong, you can just count down to the next day or tell yourself this, ‘tomorrow will be here soon.’ Once the day is over, you can wake up the next day and have all the sex you want or just masturbate. 

By doing this, you will be learning how to SAY NO to your sexual urges and the more you do that, the easier it becomes to recover from addiction. You also need to be very disciplined to be able to pull this off and remember, you can always have sex when the timetable tells you to. After a few weeks, you will regain your control and it will be so easy for you to go days without having sex or masturbating. 

If you are an addict and you want to recover, give this exercise a try and shoot me an email. I will guide you through it till the end. 

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I GET BACK MY CONTROL? 

If you finally regain your control, you are no longer a sex addict but you need to take breaks from sex and masturbation from time to time to keep you from falling back into addiction. It is what I do to keep myself from getting addicted because I love sex so much and I know the implications of sex addiction. 

For this reason, I don’t masturbate all the time. I can go a whole week without masturbating or having sex. Also, there are times that I masturbate every single day in weeks, I can have sex every single day in weeks BUT after, I go on a break till I decide that I’ve rested enough and I can have sex again. 

You should adopt this same lifestyle so that you can always have control over your sexual urges. And remember, sex and masturbation are healthy and fun. Just don’t lose control! 

Did you find this article helpful? Let us know what you think in the comments! Are you an addict looking to give this exercise a try, go ahead! It works! 

STAY SAFE!

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MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATE, WRITER, SEX AND RELATIONSHIP EXPERT

Ami Shikah is a sex educator and mental health advocate. She is passionate about sex education and is working towards making her website/blog a place where people come to for knowledge and information that will help them make healthy decisions about sex and sexuality. Mental health isn't treated with much importance in her part of the world (Ghana, Africa) and as someone who has had to deal with depression and suicidal thoughts, she hopes to share her experiences with the world and help other people like her. She has in-depth knowledge about sex, sexual health, sexuality, vaginal health, pregnancy and abortion and is working to share it all with the world. She has also made it possible for people to ask questions and get answers to them anytime.

6 Comments

  1. Thanks this really will help me
    As I started it a while a go and it seems it working
    Just had to confirm from your blog

  2. Hello my problem is I don't masturbate offen
    Am not addicted but when am ovulating i feel for sex and that's how i masturbate alot

    • It's okay and very normal to get really horny when you are ovulating. It has everything to do with your hormonal fluctuations. I get it too and I let myself masturbate back to back on such days. It's okay if you masturbate a lot on your ovulation days, so far as it doesn't keep you from getting things done. Let your body have it's fun, just don't lose control and don't feel guilty about it!

  3. My problem is that I masturbate a lot and am addicted to it...
    Am just confused and I don’t know what to do

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