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THE DIRTIEST VIRGIN

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Hi, I’m 23 and I’m a virgin. I mean, no penis has gone INSIDE my vagina to deflower me, so I have every right to scream at the top of my lungs and say I am a virgin. I can’t really tell if my hymen is still intact though. How will I even know? I’ve not bent that low to check if its still there, plus I’m not even that flexible. Even if I was, I wouldn’t know what to look out for. Enough of the long talks! This is just the first part of my story:my life as a virgin who might have done more than any of you sexually active individuals have done besides vaginal-penile intercourse. Enjoy!

Let’s start from when I stopped being innocent. I was 8 and I saw a porn movie that opened my eyes lmao! I walked into a relative’s room, saw a DVD and wanting to watch something so bad on a boring Saturday afternoon, I inserted the disk in the drive and tadaa, there were naked men and women everywhere. How did I feel? I don’t know. I just loved what I was seeing. It was nothing Id seen before and it looked like they were having fun. Did it make me want to have sex? No! I wanted to see more but I couldn’t because right after watching, I had this feeling of guilt; I was ashamed of myself. I was too young to understand anyway, but the feeling I had was kind of like how Eve and Adam felt when they took the apple and God came around. I couldn’t tell anyone about it. I couldn’t leave any sign that Id seen that movie, so I took it out of the drive and put it back where I found it.

I went back to the room the next Saturday when no one was around but I didn’t find the disk. I was disappointed and sad. Did he get the hint that I’d seen it?? I didn’t think about that. I just had to move on and pray to chance on something like that again. Months after, I got lucky.

It was another Saturday. I was going through our newspaper stacks, looking for something I hadn’t read yet. There was Daily Graphic that I never ever wanted to read because the articles were just too boring for me, there was The Mirror that I liked a little because of the short stories and letter to Obaa Yaa, there was The Spectator that was a little like The Mirror with cool stories for me and I had read all of them already. I kept looking till I reached the bottom of the bag and I saw a different set of papers that I’d never seen before. My face gleamed because each one of them had naked girls on the front pages.

Aside Ebony, I don’t recall the names of the others. I got so excited when I found them and I collected them, took them to my room and hid them under my bed. I needed time to devour every piece of writing in each paper and I couldn’t let anyone find out.

Reader, those newspapers were amazing. There were sex stories that made me feel so good down there when I read them and I always looked forward to reading more. Luckily, I got a lot more to read. Reading those stories made me realize there was a lot more to life than school, video games, Children’s Encarta and cartoons. I discovered the sexual world, full of pleasure and self-discovery.

Fast-forward to two years later, I was 10 and I had my first orgasm. How is that possible? I will show you. I was lying on my back with legs crossed. While turning and moving around, I felt something tingly in my vagina. It was similar to the sensations I felt when I read those erotic stories so I grew curious; I wanted more. I kept turning and when I squeezed my thighs harder, the sensations grew intense and it felt so amazing. I didn’t stop. I kept squeezing them together till I got the most intense sensation and I screamed. I had an orgasm and luckily, no one heard me. Truth is, I didn’t know what it was; I just loved how it felt and it became a habit that is still a part of me. Like, can you ever stop doing something that just brings you pleasure and no pain?

I’ve always been a sociable person so at that age, I had friends. I have sisters and we would play together and talk but I never mentioned my secret habits to them. It just didn’t spring to mind that they had to know or maybe something inside me knew it could get me into trouble. I’m glad I didn’t. I’m glad I learnt how to keep the vital stuff about my life to myself because people talk.

So guys, that was how I discovered masturbation and guess what, anytime I crossed my legs, I ended up concentrating on my clit and I would always make me cum. I still do it though. If I’m turned on at work, at home, in the club, in the pub, anywhere, I will just put my legs together and take care of myself. I’ve even done it a couple of times in the exams hall.

It’s not easy keeping the moans in but I’m able to. Maybe because I started quite early and knew it was something to be done discreetly. No one has to know when you’re cumming.

What next?

I can’t recall the exact year or time; it should be a year or a few months after I discovered masturbation. In one of the adult newspapers, I saw a letter written by a concerned uncle who had seen his 5 or 6-year-old niece insert the leg of her doll inside her vagina. He was worried it was because the girl’s parents watched porn while she was around and he didn’t know what to do about.

Reader, that gave me a new idea. I thought to myself, ‘if that girl was inserting something inside her vagina, it must be because it felt good.’

So guess what? I gave it a try!

Right after reading that, I found myself alone in my room and got one of my dolls. She was skinny and curvy with brown skin. I took out her right leg, lay on my back and I tried inserting her leg inside my vagina, but it didn’t work out. I was too tight. I wasn’t even wet and I didn’t really know what to expect, so I gave up and dipped my index finger inside my vagina. It was tight and it felt like nothing. Maybe it was because I was desperately looking out for sensations and you’re bound to encounter disappointments when you have too many expectations.

I didn’t give up though. I took out the finger and inserted the others and surprisingly, it started to feel good. I loved the feeling of having something inside me and I still do. After using my fingers for some time, I tried putting the leg back in. I wanted to leave it in while lying on my back but I wasn’t lucky. It was still too big to go inside my tiny little hole and I wasn’t trying to hurt myself so I threw it across the room and fell back on my fingers to give me the pleasure I desperately needed.

What happened next?

TO BE CONTINUED…

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MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATE, WRITER, SEX AND RELATIONSHIP EXPERT

Ami Shikah is a sex educator and mental health advocate. She is passionate about sex education and is working towards making her website/blog a place where people come to for knowledge and information that will help them make healthy decisions about sex and sexuality. Mental health isn't treated with much importance in her part of the world (Ghana, Africa) and as someone who has had to deal with depression and suicidal thoughts, she hopes to share her experiences with the world and help other people like her. She has in-depth knowledge about sex, sexual health, sexuality, vaginal health, pregnancy and abortion and is working to share it all with the world. She has also made it possible for people to ask questions and get answers to them anytime.

2 Comments

  1. Ami you need to finish this story ..lol

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