So you go out. You just get up and leave everything behind and go out
You go out to meet people, to have them talk to you and to have them put a smile on your face
You go out to escape reality; to hide from the truth that hurts so badly that it seems to tear your soul apart
So you get up and go out. Yeah, you go out and suddenly it all goes away.
Everything; your worries, your grief, your fears and your anguish all leave you. They kinda disappear into the wind and make you feel okay for that moment.
Then you live in the moment; you don’t choose to, it just happens.
You live in it and for that short while everything feels alright.
For that short while, you forget the pain you were feeling within and then you just want it to last forever.
Yeah, you wish to jump and scream because it feels so good. It feels so good to leave the truth behind; to flee from reality.
But then, time refuses to stay stagnant, it passes by and suddenly you have to leave.
You leave and it all comes back. It floods back and fills your whole being and it’s sickening.
God!!! It’s so sick. It’s as though it’s being waiting for you to be alone by yourself.
And when you’re finally home, all your happy moments get erased suddenly from your mind’s eye.
It feels like you’ve never felt anything close to happiness before.
You are suddenly back to square one.
And you face the truth that you’re so scared of. You face reality and it eats you up slowly.
So you just lie down so helpless and so vulnerable. You hug yourself for comfort and you cry,
You cry and wish for it all to be over.
You cry and wish for someone or something to save you.
You cry and scream out loud because you feel no one knows what’s happening. No one has a hint of what’s going on with you.
It feels like you’ve been cursed and whoever placed that curse on you has no emotions, and doesn’t care about you nor your pain.
You scream and wish for the whole world to hear your voice so they send someone to bail you out but no one does.
You scream and you hear your voice echoing back at you and you wonder if anyone cares at all.
You wonder why you have to live everyday of your life feeling this way.
You wonder why nothing seems to work out for you and true happiness seems so impossible for you.
Now you can’t even stand your thoughts anymore. Yeah you can’t because the more you think, the more you are reminded of how hopeless your situation is.
And then you cry the more
It’s really sick and suddenly you’re tired.
You’re tired of it all
You’re tired of living
And you’re even scared to face tomorrow
So you get up.
Yeah, you get up and look in the mirror. What you see scares the hell out of you.
“God! Is this what I’ve become?” You hate what you see, so you dry your tears.
You straighten your hair, you try to cover your pain and the truth of what you’re feeling with makeup and it works perfectly.
You change your clothes that are so wet with your tears and then, you go out.
Yeah, you go out again and this time, you tell yourself there is no way you are coming back.
You go out and wish to stay wherever you going forever.
Yeah, you go out and finally, all the darkness is lifted off and you feel alive once again.
So, you go out.
