What is Cuckolding? All You Need to Know About this Kink/Fetish

Have you ever wondered, ‘what is cuckolding and why do people enjoy it?’ You’ve come to the right place!

Originally, a cuckold is a man who sits back and watches his wife (the cuckoldress) have sex with another man (the bull). Cuckolding is similar to hotwiving, where a married woman is given the go-ahead/ encouraged by her spouse to pursue sexual relationships with other people.

It turns a cuckold on to see his partner play the unfaithful wife right in front of him and lately, it doesn’t matter what your gender is, anyone can fantasize about being cucked. You don’t have to be a cis-man to want to watch your partner have sex with somebody else. So far as you have a thing for it and your partner consents to it, you can go for it.

Cuckolding is My Kink!

What is cuckolding?

If you listen to Sex & Sanity, you would know that cuckolding is my kink. I prefer to play the cuck because I love watching or the idea of watching my partner have sex with someone else.

What makes it exciting for me include:

  1. Watching someone please or give pleasure to a partner who I love, care for, or enjoy having sex with
  2. Get to sit back and have a good sense of what it feels like to play the voyeur to my sexual encounters. In most cases, I would want us to go for a lady who gives off my kinda energy. She should be fun, open-minded, cute, etc. If she gives off my energy, I would want to just sit back and picture myself as her, and enjoy watching ‘me’ have sex with my partner
  3. Power play: Most times I’d want to choose the person you have sex with. Knowing that you have sex with them because I chose them for you and you both want it and you are having a good time feels good. I can be in control of the session, bringing you water, telling you what to do, etc. to make sure you have a good time

How to Explore Cuckolding:

1. You can explore cuckolding through DIRTY TALK

You don’t always have to go all the way to physically explore kinks. You can just listen to your partner talk about having sex with someone else. It could be real or fiction but hearing them talk about it should make you a cuckold. It can turn you on to hear all the nasty things your partner did in real life or in a fantasy world to another person. Right after hearing it, you can have a hot sex session!

2. Masochism/Humiliation

A masochist is aroused when they are humiliated, so deciding to be a cuckold would have to come with some form of humiliation. Such people would want to be told how good the bull (the other person their partner is having sex with) is, how the bull is able to make you feel things that he, your partner is unable to give you and it will turn him on. It should be humiliating for you to tell another person that your partner sucks in their presence. You can talk about all the things that the other person (the bull) does that makes you feel so good and talk about how your partner isn’t able to do half of it. If that isn’t enough to turn a masochist on, tell me what is.

3. Bondage and Submission

Ideally, a cuckold should be tied up and unable to move or walk out of the room. It should feel like punishment! If you are watching, your partner and the bull (the person they are having sex with) should have all the control and they’ll require you to submit by staying put when they tie you up. Cuckolds are turned on by watching, so if it’s something you’ve fantasized about, you can give cuckolding a try. Once again, you can explore it via dirty talk instead of doing it in real life

How Do I Know if Cuckolding is Right for me?

Does it turn you on to see your partner flirt with other people? If it does, you could explore cuckolding! Start with going out and watching them dance erotically with other people. You can take it up a notch by watching them do anything sexual with them. Think about the things you wouldn’t mind watching someone else (the bull) do with your partner. Will you be fine with kissing, fingering, penis-in-vagina sex, nipple play, or watching your partner use a sex toy on them? Talk to your partner about it, and when you decide to speak to a third person, have a conversation about what they are open to doing, discuss boundaries, and agree on a safeword to use to stop or halt the session if your boundaries are crossed, anyone is uncomfortable, in pain, doesn’t want to continue or should take it to another level by watching them have sex with another person. You might love it!

Also, if you aren’t sure whether it might be a thing for you, let your partner flirt with other people in your presence. If you end up finding it erotic, that’s a good sign. Give cuckolding a try if you can!

Details: Why do I Enjoy Playing a Cuck?

Cockolding is a kink that I have fantasized about for so long. The whole idea of watching my partner have sex with another person turns me on and I will tell you why.

I started wanting it when I found myself enjoying sex so much with somebody (from my past). If you know me, you’d know how much I appreciate good sex. I love to let myself go, just so that I can enjoy the littlest sensations; I just hate the thought of not enjoying a good moment fully.

So this is how I got into this kink:

I loved having sex with this man so much and it made me wonder how it’d look to watch him have sex with somebody who wasn’t me. It was more about seeing myself as the girl and getting turned on by that. It’s like making a sex tape and watching it but this time, you are watching it in real life. I’d want to watch you do the same things you do with me with the girl. Touch her like you touch me, kiss her like you kiss me, and please her like you please me.

Cuckolding is a sexy fetish and I want you to understand how it can be so hot. Look at it from my point of view. It can help you appreciate your sexual moments with him more. Seeing them do the same things you enjoy with the bull, and watching them moan and squirm to your partner’s touch can make you see yourself in her place. It’s a mental thing. We can’t make a duplicate of ourselves to be able to watch our partners fuck us, so this is our go-to and it works just fine.

It’s fine if you don’t see yourself playing a cuck or watching your partner have sex with someone else. If it’s not for you, it’s not for you. Don’t force it!

Joining Them for a Threesome

The plus side of cuckolding is, it can be so sexy and you might want to join them for a threesome. So, when planning it can be great to talk about it and, if you are all comfortable with it, you can leave it open for threesomes.

When you are watching and it gets so intense, you can join in and have a good time. It will happen when the girl turns you on to a point because you see yourself in her. This can do you great good if you have a negative body image. It can make you appreciate how sexy you are and boost your self-esteem. If I were in your place and I was reading this blog because somebody else wrote it, I would be so turned on by the idea and I would want to explore cuckolding.

It shouldn’t make you a freak for wanting to try cuckolding. It just makes you adventurous and open-minded. Kinks and fetishes are there to be explored, desired, or fantasized about. If you ever feel like pushing your envelope a little to try out new things, try out cuckolding. Play it safe, set boundaries, discuss expectations, and have a safeword. You need to decide with your partner to put an end to it if it gets too uncomfortable for you.

If you are NOT enjoying it as you should, just get up and end the session!


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Ami Shikah is a Certified Sex Coach, clinical sexologist, and radio personality with an Advanced Postgraduate Diploma in Global Sexual and Reproductive Health Management. She loves anything and everything sex as long as it is consensual, pleasurable and free of any form of discrimination, harm or violence. On this blog, her aim is to promote sexual literacy, provide a source of arousal, and promote sexual wellness. If you need to talk to a sex professional about your sexual concerns or issues, she is the one to talk to. She can help you solve your sexual problems. She will help you have the most amazing sexual experiences and live the sex life of your dreams. Sex is a basic need and a natural part of who we are as human beings. Exercise your right to sexual pleasure today! Email her at amishikah@gmail.com for a complimentary sex coaching session.


  1. I definitely agree it is a big turn on. We haven't tried it yet in reality, but we had a lot of dirty talk about it and we recently I asked my girlfriend to humiliate me a bit by letting me watch her as she was masturbating to porn. It started as a roleplay but she soon got into it in the most authentic way. When I saw how horny she is, I tried to touch her but she just slapped me and told me "no, I want it by myself and imagine he is f...Ing me, not you. You can either get out of her or stay and watch". Watching her hand as she was pleasuring herself was too much for me, when she started to moan and it was clear that she her orgasm is coming, I couldnt hold it back and I ejaculated inside my pants even without any direct touch. I was really surprised how mesmerizing this situation was for me.

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